Life On A Hanger

In Honor of MFAMB and Reasons AHS makes me miz...

2011-12-14T19:35:00.000-08:00

Ok, so if you haven't started watching American Horror Story, you need to. And if you haven't started reading MFAMB, (My Favorite & My Best) then you BETTER. Because she's hilarious and says hilarious things. And I realize very few people read my blog now since I've been MIA for...ever...but srsly. If you start doing these 2 things, you will thank me.

SO. MFAMB does the most amazing recaps of AHS...so I'm not trying to steal her recaps. The only recap action I will give you is that Tate is ON FIRE with his smack talk tonight....dayum boy. And Violet's scary Precious Moment Doll eyes are so sad...so so sad.

poor little Vy...

REASONS WHY AHS RUINED MY DREAMS.....

1. Every Wednesday night when I was this show, I have to either a. drink myself down, or b. stay up zombie faced and watch like 3 more hours of TV so I can forget what just assaulted my face/brain.

2. I used to want a basement....eff that noise. NOT happening anymore. Thanks AHS. Well..no one in Texas really has basements so it's not the end of the world...

3. I will NEVER EVER, never ever, NEVER EVER, go into an attic again. I already am afraid of them...and now it's just unbearable.

4. I will automatically assume that people who give me the stink eye at work are actually dead zombies who are trapped at work forever and can't leave and they are just jealous....far-fetched....but true.

5. I AM SO SO SO SCARED OF THE DENTIST NOW. Which really grinds my gears, especially since the dentist was the ONE doctor that I wasn't petrified of....I am a total hippie inside and don't like western meds or doctors very much. Me and my chiropractor and holistic doc and acupuncturist are BFF's though.

6. I am now 1,000,000,000,000,000,000% sure that I am psychic and sensitive to the supernatural. If red nailed cray cray lady is, then I for SURE am.

That's it for now...but good NIGHT, this episode is just all kinds of freaking me out already... My self diagnosed ADDDDDDDD is about to kick in and this blog post is going to eat shit and die if I try to keep writing....

oh and check out MFAMB, she's the tits.

peaceloveandholdmei'mscared,
xoxo,

pee.ess...has anyone noticed if something is up with Violet's teeth??? Did she get veneers???

GRINCH TIME

2011-12-14T18:55:00.000-08:00

OK, I'm feeling a little less grinchy. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I think that since I've had a few days off, all the stress from the past 2 months has started to melt away, but it's leaving in a way that makes my body ache, and makes me not want to get out of bed! Felt a little better today though, has that happened to y'all?

P.S. I think you should know I'm watching Toddlers & Tiaras while I'm writing this and am so horrified. There's a small boy with a rat tail the size of Montana and it's just freaky.

Question of the day..."Where is your Christmas tree???"

Cool...wanna know where mine is?????

IT'S LAYING ON MY FRONT DOOR. SOAKING WET.
SOMEONE IS PROBABLY GOING TO STEAL IT, OR A RACCOON IS GOING TO NEST IN THERE AND I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ANIMAL WHISPER IT OUT OF THERE.

dirty street corner tree...

So I bought the tree today, and the man at the place told me to give it a good hose down so it would be super fresh and watered.....Since I am an overachiever, I held up the tree in the front of the house (while my neighbor watched in fear), turned the hose on full blast, and sprayed that beotch down. And also managed to spray myself down....And since it was so soaked, I couldn't bring it inside....that was 4 hours ago....and now I'm too tired and warm and cozy to bring it out from the cold. So I totes just neglected my poor tree that was supposed to bring joy and Christmas cheer.....oopsies?

Has anyone's tree been misplaced? I better not wake up to a note from the HOA bitching about my unsightly tree....considering I already got a noise complaint ON THANKSGIVING AT 10 AM for playing my CHRISTMAS CAROLS too loud...I mean, people these days!!! SUPER GRINCHFACES.

Ok, American Horror Story is about to start, peace out homies. And don't come over and steal my tree!!

peacelove&sadtrees,
xox,

UMMM....PS THE EPISODE OF TODDLERS & TIARAS JUST ENDED AND RAT TAIL BOY JUST WON.....THE WORLD IS GOING TO END.

Decor ideas....

2011-12-12T17:51:00.000-08:00

Ok, so speaking of "ideas" have y'all ever heard anyone say "idear"..like, "wow, that's such a great eye-dee-urr".....k just asking. Because I have. And yes, I have spent (limited) time in some sketchy "hills have eyes" places...but just wondering if anyone else has witnessed that pronunciation.....ANYWAY...

I am repainting my bedroom the color "dove gray"....well that's what I've called it at least...it looks like this...

It's technically called "French gray" which is even sexier but I like doves.

SOOO, being as my room will be French/Dove gray, I am looking for some art to hang on a blank wall. All of my furniture is silver/grey/mirror/lucite/white and I have some funky accents. My walls are currently a very light ice blue, but I want to go grey so I can add more funky accents.

I am obsessed with Foxes. Strangly enough, I don't browse with Firefox (that was supposed to be funny...yeah). SO, I found some cool as funky fox prints on Etsy. And I need opinions. Some are printed on French books, which is even BETTER since I am a total francophile....OPINIONS SIL VOUS PLAIT! (that means please in Francais).

#3 (it's a map of Paris)

#6 (pretty obsessed)

SO, I will likely end up getting a few, but I want to know what y'all think!? Opinions please!

peaceloveandfoxonthewall,

xoxo,

PIN the tail on the donkey....

2011-12-12T09:31:00.000-08:00

No....unfortch I will not be talking about old school party games....I just wanted a sly way to say PIN. And not bank account PINS either, because why in the world would I give someone my PIN? I'm not THAT much in the Christmas spirit!!!

Today, in fact, I'm feeling a little Grinchy. Why? Because I need a massage, I haven't gone to yoga class in MONTHS, and I'm SO behind on Christmas shopping....

But we need to get back to PIN being the word of the day, before you think I'm just plain cray cray. (Oh, wait, some of you might think that already...riiiiight.)

I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM.

I AM ADDICTED TO PINTEREST.

I never ever ever ever ever in a MILLION BAJILLION years thought I would be...but I am.

Reasons I never thought I'd be addicted to Pinterest.

1. I am not the owner of any children. All I have is a spoiled perfect princess puppy and 2 finches. (I'll explain the finches later)

2. I am not getting married soon. So why the hell do I feel compelled to have a "wedding inspiration" board???? I DON'T KNOW.

3. I am not in the market to buy a house, remodel an existing house, or purchase mountainloads of very beautiful, very expensive furniture.

4. I am not planning on picking up and moving to Europe. (Although this is the closest statement that might be true...given that I am actually considering moving to Paris...)

So someone please explain how I love Pinterest so much? Am I secretly an interior designer?? Am I secretly a personal stylist ? (We all know the answer to that is yes, but until I find some clients that can cough up the cash for me to quit my job then I'll keep asking the same questions).

Anywho....is anyone else as sickly addicted? It's just so so SO SO fun!!!!!

Last night I had a dream that Daniel Craig and I went on a tropical vacation...so maybe I'll go create a Mr. & Mrs. Craig board.....ugh I am so sick...

peaceloveandpinsinyourface,
xoxo,

HOLLA AT YOUR GIRL

2011-12-11T10:48:00.001-08:00

Good afternoon lovers & friends!

My Christmas vacation starts this week and I am bound & determined to get back in the blogosphere!

I hope none of y'all have totally lost faith in my, being as I've been a shistey blogger, but I promise I will be back in action for the next few weeks!

We all know how cray cray the holidays are...I am way behind on my Christmas shopping (as in, I've only online shopped for myself and purchased ONE gift for someone.....eek!)

Since we all tend to get wrapped up in the whirlwind of Holiday parties, champagne, eggnog, cookies and fruitcakes, I just wanted to encourage all of you to head over to www.modgblog.com and participate in project WANA (we are not assholes) I offered to help, and have unfortunately can only help 1-2 people which gives me the sads. I participate in a few local charities here in Texas and can only limit my donations to a few people. HOWEVER, please head on over there and see if there is anyone you can help! The tiniest thing you do can help someone get through a rough time!

Ok y'all, I have to go clean my house since it has been neglected for weeks and my laundry pile is just plain insane.

love y'all!

peacelovemerrychristmaskwanzahannukahwhateveritisyoucelebrate,iloveyouallnomatterwhat!

xoxo,

Delicious.

2011-10-20T09:04:00.001-07:00

We all know I'm psychic, but recently aside from being internally magic, my outside is magic.
Here's the grind. I recently was running out of body wash. I have purchased the Dayna Decker line of body wash and moisturizer, which is INCREDIBLE, but being as it rings in at almost 50 bucks a bottle, I use that sparingly. Dayna Decker is also very very concentrated, and I don't want to be "that girl" at work who smells SO SO SO SO SO SO strongly of perfume. I consider this stuff to be liquid GOLD and use it on weekends, date night, etc. etc. My personal favorite scent is "Bardou" which contains, pink peppercorn, fresh greens, wild rose, pink peony (my FAVORITE), cardamom and redwood. MAGIC.
So I found myself needing body wash, not wanting to use up all my DD magic, but also not wanting to be super cheap and buy regular drugstore stuff. Especially since it's fall and my skin gets super duper dry. GROSS.
I shimmied over to ULTA and decided to peruse the aisles. After some hardcore browsing, I found some interesting sale going on. Buy one, get one 50% off, forC.BOOTH products. I thought, what the Hell, might as well give it a try. So I bought, the Rosemany Mint cleanser, and the DELICIOUS magical Walnut Shell Scrub & Cleanser. Let me tell you, these are both SUPER reasonably priced, and I LOVE THEM. The rosemary mint smells incredible, and it's super refreshing, hydrating and overall delicious. The Walnut Shell Scrub smells like a vanilla cake mated with an almond biscotti, then they decided to make it an orgy and invite creamy buttercream and vanilla bean bliss. IT SMELLS LIKE PURE MAGIC. And the walnut shell is a super amazing exfoliant, I feel so clean and shiny!
I also want to try the "Breathe Easy" body wash which will undoubtedly be incredible when I get my first cold of the season. It has a fresh zingy menthol smell and sinus clearing freshness that I think I would love in cold season.
Anywho, thought I should share! Have a great smelling day!
xox

Oops I did it again....

2011-08-23T11:01:00.000-07:00

I lied. I told you all I'd be back in blog glory, but I haven't been. Not because I don't love you, not because of the hipsters, and not because I am still analyzing the ACL lineup. It's because being a grownup sucks sometimes!!!! I hate not having blog time! My creativity is getting sucked up by evil grown up world! There is only one solution...quit my job. become a full time blogger. MAGIC.

I'll keep you posted....till then, I'll be reading your wonderful blogs and weeping for the times when I could write everyday.

Oh, and I'm trying to move to Paris for the entirety of next summer. Thoughts?

peaceloveandihatebeinganadult,

My ACL predictions for 2011....because I'm Part Magic.

2011-05-06T09:03:00.000-07:00

Good morning and Happy Belated Cinco de Mayo my friends!

Since it’s Friday after Cinco de Mayo and I’m feeling extra spicy…I am going to be super ballsy and make my ACL 2011 lineup predictions. The official lineup comes out May 17th (I’m counting down the hours/minutes/seconds) but here is a list of my predictions:

For headliners:

Red Hot Chili Peppers: here’s why; they are supposedly releasing an album in august/september and I think they’d be a GREAT addition to the lineup. It’s ACL’s 10th anniversary show this year so this would be amazeballs.

Radiohead: This deliciously wonderful band has been rumored to play ACL for the last year or two, and I think this might be our lucky year y’all. Especially with the release of Lotus Flower.

Paul Simon/Willie Nelson/Buffalo Springfield for the Sunday night closer: Why? Because they’re cool. Oh and who doesn’t love them? I vote for Willie. He’s perfect for an anniversary show in Texas.

My Morning Jacket: only because I’ve heard rumors and they’re playing at Coachella, they also headlined at Jazzfest last year. Also, their new single “Circuital” makes my heart smile and shoot rainbows.

I could be wrong with those headliners. Now here is my list that include Lollapalooza 2011 lineup shows that I think will do ACL, and some returning shows from ACL 2010. Don’t worry. I’ll tell you which is which…you’re welcome.

ACL 2010 Returning Acts for 2011:

Muse. Put on one of the best shows I’ve seen last year. They’re playing Lolla and headlined las year. I just don’t know where they’d put them. Possibly where Deadmau5 played last year…hmmm…

Spoon. Because who doesn’t love them some Spoon?

Band of Horses. Most beautiful show last year. Sunset and amazing sound. I haven’t heard much of what they’re up to lately but I’d love to see them back.

Black Keys. Popular hit to see. Playing Lolla also.

Matt & Kim. I don’t think enough people appreciated them last year,so I’d like to see them back.

Portugal.The Man. They’ve been blowing up as of late, played last year and are cool enough to play at Lolla.

Rebelution. Another one that’s been blowing up and pretty damn good too. Also played ACL last year.

Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros: Ok, so he’s a little bizarre, who cares? He’s awesome. Last year he drew a huge crowd. Although lately I’ve been enjoying Alexander’s solo stuff. This is one of my wish listers, so he can come solo or play with the MZeros.

Manchester Orchestra: Who are currently touring with Cage the Elephant. Both are also playing Lolla. Manchester was a goose-bump inducing act last year, even though it was fairly early and we were all sweating out alcohol and party time. But, WOW what a great show. Also, Cage the Elephant; who I really enjoy only drew 15 year old skater kids which was not so alarming, but I’d hope to see them back with a more mature crowd.

Mountain Goats: Another sleeper that I ~~slept through~~ missed at ACL much to my dismay. I love them. Please come back! They’re also playing Lolla.

Midlake: Because everyone needs to know about Midlake. Played ACL last year too.

Foals: I missed their Houston show, but apparently it was so awesome that someone got SHANKED. Yeah. And they played last year too (ACL). They remind me of a more rock version of Bloc Party.

Shearwater: Another 11 am show I missed. And I was PISSED. They’re like Sigur Ros’s red headed step child, but in English. Comprende? AWESOME.

Balmorhea: LOVE. And I missed them last year at ACL. Such good ear candy.

Dan Black: I would love to have a mini Dan Black to keep in my purse. His show at ACL last year was SO SO FUN, and who doesn’t love him? (Brad from The Rachel Zoe Project still wins in my heart)

OK: Onto Lolla 2011 lineup that I haven’t already mentioned, hopefully these will cross over into ACL

My Morning Jacket: Already talked about their magical-ness.

Deadmau5: Who also played ACL last year, blew everyone away, (duh!)

Cee-Lo Green: He’s dumb and leaked that he was playing ACL this year, then ACL forced him to take that info offline. I was underwhelmed by this. blech.

Ween. Good stuff. Also playing Free Press Summer Fest in Houston this June.

Bright Eyes. Would love to see him.

Arctic Monkeys. Could fill Vampire Weekend’s slot and they are good, which helps. New music release as well.

Death From Above 1979. This would be fun to see. Especially since someone at this show at SXSW got STABBED. Damn.

Ratatat. Great group, lots of music to play. I’m just a wee bit scared what they’ll be like live. But I’m stoked.

Crystal Castles. Another one I’ve been dying to see, hopefully they’ll stay for ACL.

Cold War Kids. I recently missed them here in Houston. Good stuff, especially “Hang Me up to Dry” love.

Lykke Li. Really talented artist, love her.

Ok Go. Would be a super fun band to see.

Local Natives. Also a great group, could def. see them taking a day show.

The Kills. Delicious music. U R A Fever and Sour Cherry are amazing.

White Lies. A sleeper worth waking up to watch.

2 Door Cinema Club. Also played ACL last year, and were apparently really great. I’ve never seen them live but have heard many a good thing.

Sleigh Bells. HELLZ YES PLEASE. Just saw them recently in Houston, and a show like this could totally be amazing at ACL.

Smith Westerns. Great show.

Best Coast. Another band I’ve been dying to see live. Fingers crossed!

The Drums. Have come back lately into the spotlight and are bound to put on a great live set.

Black Lips. Good stuff.

Cults. Another one I’d like to check out for myself.

Noah + The Whale. Gaining popularity, wouldn’t mind watching that one.

Lissie. I missed her in concert. I think she’s great, she played Coachella as well.

Ok, so now onto the ones that I just really really really REALLY REALLY would like to see at ACL and could maybe maybe maybe make an appearance…

Fleet Foxes. Ok, I don’t know if I can describe how much I love this band. When I first heard “White Winter Hymnal” I replayed it over.and over.and over.and over.and over and again. AND every time I heard it I couldn’t help but smile and bounce. Their new album “Helplesness Blues” released only 3 days ago will blow.your.socks.off. So, please please please bring Fleet Foxes to ACL!

Mumford & Sons: I mean…need I say more? INCRED. Also, they’ve been touring withAvett Brothers doing the railroad revival tour, AND they played opening weekend of Jazzfest. I will die of happiness if they are both featured.

Florence + The Machine. What has she been up to? I think she’d be a great addition. She has two shows here in America listed in June, and that’s it….surprise us Flo and come to ACL!

That’s all folks. I mean, I could add more but then I’d get my hopes up wayyy too much!

peaceloveandmusic!

lovelovelove,

the psychic one who foretells music festival lineups…hopefully….

The Hipster Dilemma....(as seen on my new tumblr!)

2011-04-27T06:30:00.000-07:00

I’m confused.

Broad statement, right? So here’s what I’m confused about. It’s the Hipsters.

Before you go out and get all offended and all “oh no she didn’t”, lemme break it down for you.

I just don’t get the Hipster movement. And here’s the kicker….They seem to be EVERYWHERE nowadays. Like when I went bicycle shopping the other day and the dude helping me (bless his poor heart by the way, because I am bicycle challenged and had no idea what the eff he was saying) kept saying “well, you might not like this, it’s just a hipster bike and there’s no real use for it” but by looking at him, I could’ve sworn he was part of the hipster movement. See where I get confused? I totes would’ve called this guy a hipster (not to his face) but I’ve NEVER heard someone call themselves a hipster. Is that bad? People talk, act, dress and apparently now bike like hipsters, but no one calls them self one….ummmm que?

Some more hipster questions I have. Please feel free to educate me on the subject. To be honest, I’m fascinated by the term….

1.) Am I a hipster since I have Chuck Taylors in my closet and own several vintage plaid shirts?

2.) Why are mustaches so hipster? Someone said it’s because they’re “ironic”. I have a Master’s Degree in literature and I perpetually fail to see the irony. Since when is facial hair ironic? Are beards ironic? Soul patches are creepy, but are they ironic now too? Are girls with mustaches ~~in need of a good wax~~ hipsters now too?

3.) WHY DO HIPSTERS RIDE FIXED GEAR BICYCLES? I NEED TO KNOW.

4.) Why do hipsters go to indie concerts and then have no idea about the music they’re listening to??? I went to a concert this weekend and I was awesome enough to be included in a hipster conversation, and NONE of them knew EITHER of the 2 bands playing.

5.) Why do hipsters like irony so much? So many of them love “Ironic tattoos”….why?

6.) Why do hipsters all wear the same type of glasses? Most people don’t even look good in those frames. Is it because of Kanye?

Is he an honorary hipster or full fledged card carrying hipster? Do hipsters hate or love him? If it wasn’t Kanye, then WHO STARTED WITH THE GLASSES!?

7.) Why do people love to hate hipsters?

8.) Why is Pabst Blue Ribbon considered “hipster beer”???

9.) Do all hipsters shop at the same stores? Are you not totally hipster if your clothes aren’t all vintage? oh crap….I love vintage clothing, am I a hipster?!

10.) AM I A HIPSTER!?! What does it mean!??!

*Disclaimer*

I don’t love or hate hipsters. This is a case study.

oh…and no hipsters or animals were hurt in this investigation.

peacelove&irony?
lovelovelove,

I'M TUMBLING!!

2011-04-26T14:36:00.000-07:00

I got a tumblr....I'm kinda nervie about it....thoughts?
peacelove&yikes!

http://justjulesjustlisten.tumblr.com/

Stuff....

2011-03-04T10:26:00.000-08:00

Know what I hate?
I hate having a stomach virus during the one week of work that I definitely shouldn't miss, especially when there is BEAUTIFUL spring weather and my inner chihuahua is living a life of sheer bliss.....

The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo is in full force ladies and gentlemen, and I feel the need to dedicate these next two weeks to "Rodeo Time" on the blog. What is "Rodeo Time" you may ask? It is a time where I will recount every hilarious, amazing, scary and "only in Texas" moment you could ever ask for!

Rodeo is PERFECT people watching, and we all know that I love people ~~judging~~ watching.
Stomach bug or not, it is now my duty to share rodeo stuff!
Stay tuned as I go out and record data for the next week of Rodeo Posts and Pics!

MIA....not just a badass musician

2011-02-08T12:13:00.000-08:00

I AM SO MIA IT HURTS!

But guess what!?!

My cray cray business will be over as of THIS COMING SATURDAY AND I HAVE SO SO SO MUCH TO TELL YOU ALL!

and i promise i will start reading all of you beautiful blogs when saturday is over! i miss blogging and reading your blogs!!!

peaceloveandhatingbeingsodarnbusy,
lovelovelove,

Empty Promises.....

2010-10-06T12:03:00.000-07:00

Sooo....I know I keep saying that I'll be back in "full hurricane force" asap....but I've kind of been on the struggle bus lately and have had lit-rilly ZERO time for anything other than work....aaaad the fact that I've been out of town EVERY.SINGLE.WEEKEND. since mid-September!
BUT

I thought I would interrupt my silence to let you all know HOW excited I am about attending AUSTIN CITY LIMITS MUSIC FESTIVAL THIS WEEKEND!!!!

Are you going??

Who are you excited to see??

My inner Chihuahua is CRAY CRAY excited, especially with this ridiculously amazing weather we've been having lately.

SO, while I can't promise that I'll be in full blog force soon, I will try my damndest to give you ACL updates!!!

peacelovea&music&austinisawesome,
lovelovelove,

Life Lately

2010-09-14T11:24:00.000-07:00

HAS BEEN STRAIGHT UP CRAY CRAY!

For realz, I literally have had no time to read blog, much less write my own which is super sad, but hopefully I'll be back up and running soon!

I will be leaving town this weekend for a wedding extravaganza (not my own) but when I'm back hopefully I will be able to bring everyone back to speed!

love and MISS y'all!

hugs from the south
peaceloveandnotimetospare,
lovelovelove,

Nooz

2010-07-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

Lovahs and Friends,

I have some not so surprising nooz. Here goes: I am a crap-tastic blogger!

I have been so MIA it's not even funny! My life has been a whirlwind of being poolside, being up till 8 am, working, not working, playing, drinking too much beer, too much world cup, too little sleep, and SO MUCH FUN. I start my first big girl, REAL WORLD job in three weeks, so I'm trying to get it all out of my system!

However, the party will continue, but I will be an amazing blogger in about 3 weeks, I PINKIE PROMISE, GIRL SCOUTS HONOR.....

In other nooz, I'm leaving the country tomorrow for 9 days, so obvs, I won't be blogging. But when I get back I might post some pics, but who knows. Oh yeah and now my blog looks ugly and I don't have time to fix it....no me gusta.

I have some animal whisperer stories, some concert recaps, some hilarious tidbits, and a little somethin' somethin' about me and Regina George to share with you when I get back!

I miss you all oodles and bunches and will be back in action for realz before you can say JagerBomb.....boom.roasted.

peaceloveandsummerrocks,

lovelovelove,

Meowmix

2010-07-05T16:29:00.000-07:00

Lovahs....

Again, I'm so super sorry for leaving you in the dark lately! I've gotten some sweet emails and comments and I can assure you everything is just peachy!

I just got back from a marathon weekend in Austin, and I swear my body was having flashbacks to college because we made 7am our bedtime almost every night....ouch. But so so worth it. Plenty of tales to come. Like the time I told some random guido he looked like the guy from the Shakeweight commercial.....yeah.

So the last post was surely confusing for you all, and that's totes understandable! I'm not going to elaborate on it because it's kinda personal and we all know how I'm not so good with mushy emotional things, capiche? However, all I will say is that it resolved an issue that has plagued and pained me for a few years now, and I feel better about some things that happened in the past. Although I know the past isn't where I should be living....but still.

In light of moving on and growing up, I'm going to share with you a piece I wrote for a website a few years ago. It never got published because the company went under, but I really enjoyed writing it. I wrote it four years ago, right after the most painful heartbreak anyone could ask for. SO that's as emo as I'll get on here...Yes, I have had a terrible heartbreak...Yes, I survived. So I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think!

The Breakup: Up close and personal with the nasty deed

So you got dumped, or you were the dumper, hell it could’ve been the “mutual” thing; for what it’s worth....it’s OVER. No ifs ands or buts, it’s done, gone to the trash, you’re single and so are they. What the hell to do now? If you’re anything like the typical human being (cold, heartless man/woman eaters to the side), you’ll sit down for about a month or two and torture yourself and all those around you by listening to every sad song, going to your “favorite restaurants” and mentioning your ex-significant other in every other conversation. You’ll also read every note, go over every conversation, and over-analyze the life out of every possible aspect of your already DONE AND OVER WITH relationship. I’ve gone through this process recently and to save all of you the time and emotional gut twisting roller coaster of a break up, I’ve come to a couple of very important conclusions...

DISCLAIMER: The forthcoming advice is applicable to all who chose to adhere. Take it at your own risk, your life will not become instantly happier, your ex will not come crawling back nor will they come down with an exotic un-curable disease. These words are meant to help you. As with all breakups they vary in severity, the author is well aware that “he/she might have been the one”. But at this rate, they are being “the one” that is probably out having a better time than you are, so you might as well start doing the same thing.

1. You must accept the fact that it’s over. Even if there IS a flickering hope that there will be a re-kindling of the relationship you can’t hold on forever. If you’re going to get back together, it’ll happen, rain or shine. If you believe in fate, this will be easy for you, whatever it may be that you do/do not believe in, order will restore itself whether or not he/she is in the picture.

2. Stalking is usually illegal... don’t take the risk of getting caught doing it, plus it’ll just make you feel worse, and they’ll think you’re psycho which ruins the chances of ever speaking to them again.

3. If you so happen to be on speaking terms, keep it friendly, start out with small-talk and don’t bust out with serious sob-worthy dissertation length speeches about “what happened to us?” Keep it light and friendly at first, and then if the time and mood is right, you can usually let your guard down and talk about any lingering issues in a civilized manner. (Bold and italicized statements are meant to be strongly emphasized.)

4. Avoid “rebounding”. Leave that to the basketball players. It can make you look uber desperate and it can be disrespectful to the other person. What I mean is, you might be making them feel like everything you ever had was completely meaningless and you’re just rubbing it in their face. Avoid rubbing things in their face. It may be tempting, but be the bigger person; it always pays off even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time.

5. Avoid rebounding within the ex’s circle of friends (i.e. trying to go through the entirety of his/her pledge class) word gets around fast and you don’t want to look like an idiot or a walking STD.

6. Don’t ask don’t tell. Don’t go prying into their personal details (see number 2). Don’t try to find out who they’re hanging out with or hooking up with. Don’t reveal your personal life either, if you’ve ever played telephone in a large group of people you’ll understand how one simple phrase can be grossly misconstrued (especially when everyone is at a loud party with a couple drinks coursing through their bloodstream.) If they want to tell you about it, let them tell you. If they’re not telling you it’s for a reason.

7. Don’t burn bridges. Acting brashly and lashing out at the ex or their friends can have some nasty repercussions. Stay calm and cool, don’t trash talk. It sounds bitter and nasty and it only fuels the fire. Don’t be rude to people who are associated with the ex. You and the ex are the ones who broke up, no one else had anything to do with it and let’s keep it that way.

8. Keep memories sweet. You both know you had some really great times and some amazing memories, keep them. Don’t let the past poison your future, it’s ok to crack a smile if you remember the time he/she did something absolutely heart melting for you. You don’t have feel like you have mad cow every time you think of them. Keep the memories right where they are and move on, make better ones.

9. Get out there, if you read number 4, you’ll know what NOT to do. Just because you’re newly single doesn’t mean you have to immediately start dating. All those times you secretly were envious of your single friends are no more. Go have fun, crack yourself up, forget about “spitting your game”, or “pulling some wool”. Great things happen when you least expect them. Go do what YOU want to do, surround yourself with great friends and good times.

10. Lastly and very importantly. You’re likely still in college. Your biological clock is not ticking that desperately yet. Stop pursuing your Mrs./Mr. Degree and focus on yourself. Don’t take it to an extreme and become an antisocial hermit, but enjoy your youth. You are on the road to finding the right person, you need some trial runs before the real thing. Put it this way, you’re one trial run down, admit that it was fun and try another! (Remember the walking STD part). You’re in college, there are oodles of options, try things you never would’ve tried. You won’t know you like something until you try it. Stop riding the pine and get back on the playing field.

Hopefully you’ve put down the pint of haagen daaz, turned off “The Notebook” and are well on your way to getting ready for a night of painting the town red. Let the future happen, worry about right now and being happy right now. You can worry about tomorrow when it gets here, and it will work itself out. In the words of the Semi Sonics “every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” Make lots of great beginnings and let the endings make you better, not bitter.

peaceloveandnewbeginnings,

lovelovelove,

Dear Mr. Not So Anonymous...

2010-06-27T14:43:00.000-07:00

Blogfriends, super huge apologies for being a shistey blogger, but I'm going 100 mph these days! Have no fear, I'll be back super soon. For now, I dedicate this quick post to "Anonymous" who commented on my last post.

Dear Mr. "Not So Anonymous",

I'm sure you thought I'd know who you were. I gave you my address via Facebook a few years ago and never received my book you still have. There is an e-mail address attached to this website where you can correspond with me in reference to the following:

1. I will once again give you my mailing address to receive said book.

2. "B Pride" is great. I see him fairly often.

3. I don't understand what you mean by the "Edward" comment....But as far as a "well deserved last laugh" how about sending me a "well deserved" apology? I think a late one is better than none at all, wouldn't you agree? Especially since our last conversation took place over an INSTANT MESSAGE.

4. How in the world did you find my blog.

I should be the mature adult in this situation but I think I deserve an apology. I think I've deserved an apology for quite some time now. I'll be on the lookout for that email. lifeonahanger@gmail.com

Viva Mexico.

Just When I Was Sure It Couldn't Get Worse....

2010-05-27T13:05:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you guys, but Houston has a little problem. I refer to it as the attack of the douchengoyles. (Thank you Carissa). You're all like, huh? Ok, so the douchengoyle: a definition...

Wears more hair gel than I have ever applied to my head, INCLUDING 4th grade dance recitals.

Wears more rhinestones than a Judith Leiber clutch.

Makes less money than I do and acts like he's BFF with P.Diddy and the Donald.

Drinks shots of Patron and lots of Jager Bombs, probably only drinks "Michelob Ultra" too.
WEARS ED HARDY. I don't think you understand how much I hate Ed Hardy. Monday, when I was watching Real Housewives of New Jersey, I almost jumped through the television and RIPPED OFF poor Jacqueline's little baby boy's outfit because she has him on the fast track to douchengoyle-dom, and NO I don't care that it's Jersey, it's just NOT OK. I HATE ED HARDY. WHAT'S THE POINT?
Honestly. What is the point? It costs more than a nice, sensible, and very sexy simple Polo or Lacoste shirt, and HAS GLITTERY SHIT AND DAGGERS AND LIONS AND TIGERS AND ROSES ON IT. It's like Lisa Frank took acid and went apeshit and sold her designs to this Christian Audigier character. (No disrespect Lisa...you made my elementary school days SO much brighter, sparklier, unicornier, and ponier)

but then she took acid and made Ed Hardy his millions.

AND NOW, I HAVE BEEN MADE PAINFULLY AWARE THAT MR. AUDIGIER HIMSELF has released THESE. Read the full article HERE. This is some really REALLY BAD NOOZ.

EXCUSE ME, BUT I DO NOT WANT A MENTAL IMAGE OF DOUCHENGOYLES BONING DOUCHEN-GOYLE-ETTES, or SLORES as I like to refer to trashbag women. I swear, you should see some of the people here. It's like they live underground during the day in the sewers, and then at night, they crawl out all slimy and glittery and sparkly in their nasty sparkly gear. GROSS. AT LEAST THESE WILL PREVENT THEM FROM PROCREATING. Ugh.

Moving on. Wish my male beefer happy travels on his way to visit my beefiestbeefer, and hopefully they don't have to call me for advice on where to find one of these "Monsieur Bond" gems. Oy vey. LOVE YOU GUYS.

bahahahah

peaveloveandedhardysucks,

lovelovelove,

MEOWMIX

2010-05-26T11:02:00.000-07:00

The title is just because. I like saying meowmix.

NOOZ:

1. Super apologies for sucking at blogging.

2. I GOT A JOB! Member when I was all cray cray scared thinking I was going to have to start stripping? Well, fear not, because I'm officially a grown up! Only downside is I don't start till August and I need a summer job...ideas? Anybody want to hire yours truly?

3. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of cray cray but I secretly love that about life. I'm a lucky girl!

ROOLZ:

1. When it's 98 degrees outside and hot as BALLZ, please for the love of Miley WEAR DEODORANT PEOPLE. I was in line getting my passport the other day and damn near keeled over after catching a whiff of what was quite possibly THE.WORST.BO I've ever experienced. Holy holy holy guacamole. If smells could kill I'd be long gone.

DOUBLE YOU TEA EFF WEDNESDAY:

Whore-moans have ONCE AGAIN kidnapped me for the day and I wish I could crawl into a little ball under my desk and die death by crampage and whore-moan kidnappage. BLAH. I need a Bloody Mary the size of Wisconsin and I need it NOW. Yeah it's only 1pm and I don't careeeee.

I'll take TEN. And keep 'em comin'....

HAPPY SUMMER LOVAHS!

peaceloveandantiperspirantporfavor,

lovelovelove,

Just a Quickie...

2010-05-18T14:17:00.000-07:00

K, so I pinkie promised I'd be back for realz this week, but things are STILL hella cray cray up in here.

My besticle beefer left yesterday...I'm super duper sadface about that. I will share some classic one liners from her visit for your entertainment....Most of these occurred in PUBLIC.

"You belong in a barn"

"You have more rings on than a carney"

"You? Like a virgin? More like "Like A Virgin, Touched for the 75th time!" (While Singing to the tune of Madonna's "Like A Virgin")

"You're giving me the grenade? I hate you."

"I can see your crawfish"

Basically it was an incredible weekend, I had a crawfish boil and I was a mess in a dress. I might show you pics. But might not .We'll see. I PROMISE I'll for realz be back soon, I know I've been sayin' that, but I MEAN it.

peaceloveandcrawfish,
lovelovelove,

GUESS FREAKING WHAT?!?!?!?!

2010-05-13T11:28:00.000-07:00

OK don't guess, 'cause I'm gonna tell you....I've got lotsa NOOZ for you!

1. MY BESTICLE/BEEFER/BFFFFFFFFFFFL for LIFE is coming in town in approximantely 4 HOURS!!! I haven't seen her in 6 months and I will finally have my BEEFIEST BEEFERS IN THE WORLD together in ONE PLACE for the FIRST TIME EVAHHHHHHHHHHHH. You'll be able to see fireworks and stars and shit shooting from the sky.

2. I FINISHED SCHOOL. I AM GRADUATING TOMORROW. WOOOOOOOOOOOP.

3. I just bought my cap and gown, and since I'm getting a Master's I will be the girl who looks like she's off to a Quidditch match.....yikes. NOT a good look for me.

ANNNNNNNNNNND I will be back in full hurricane force next week!!!!!!!!

I've missed you!!!

peaceloveandquidditchandbesticlebeefers,
lovelovelove,

The Hypothetical Cats Are Out Of The Bag....

2010-05-04T20:58:00.000-07:00

OK, so I guess we have an issue to address. Other than the fact that I will not be blogging till next week because I am supposed to be writing a term paper right now, and I have 2 more to write. GROSS.

On my last blog post, SOMEONE (an anonymous commenter) asked me the following:

Random question...are you part Asian?

Your pictures look like you might be and with the names of your dogs I thought I'd ask!

NOW: I have my theories as to who this "anonymous commenter" was. First of all, I have never shown my real face on the blog. Why does this make you think I'm Asian? Was it the Mermaid Locks? Usually one can see Asian-ness in the eye area, and I haven't shown this. So riddle me this, "anonymous blogger", had my dog been named "Bratwurst" or "Weinerschnitzel" would you think I was German? Austrian? What if I just like Japanese names? I'm not pissed, in fact I find this hysterical. But to answer your question, no, I'm not Asian. But thanks for asking. Sushi and Shinko are just fun to say and the actual breed of dog (shih-tzu) IS ASIAN. So yes, MY DOG IS ASIAN.

Next issue:

MY DOG IS NOT ONLY ASIAN, BUT SHE IS A CAT. Yeah. You read that right. And I have proof. First of all, she licks her paws like a cat, she is also sneaky like a NINJA, and very...catlike in general. She is also OBSESSED with cats, and cats are OBSESSED with her. Here's the proof. I look up from paper writing and I see this:

DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THIS IS EFFING WEIRD? Do you see the BRIGHT LIGHTS coming from the cat's eyes??? It's JEDI MIND TRICKING MY POOR NUGGET OF LOVE. They are literally making love through their eyes. I'm pretty sure that's ILLEGAL. They sat like that for LIT-RILLY 10 MINUTES. TEN WHOLE MINUTES MAKING EYE LOVE.

In other nooz...there is no other news, other than HAPPY CINCO DE ~~MARGARITAS~~ MAYO.

peaceloveandcatdogaction,
lovelovelove,

**DISCLAIMER** NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS BLOG POST. So don't get all PETA in my grill.

WillYooMaryMii and Some other Cray Cray Bits...

2010-05-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

K so I've recently been assigned a LOAD of non-fun-ness at work, basically lots of numbers and letters and combinations of letters and numbers, and I have the math skills of a 3 year old with severe ADHD and Dyslexia. Yeah. That bad.

Ask my friends and my college math professor. I took "football player math" at Vanderbilt...twice. Yeah. I was supposed to be the "shining star" and turns out the dudes with like 2 brain cells left did better than I did....maybe it was also combined with the fact that it was at 8AM, my FIRST SEMESTER, my boyfriend was in the class, and he skipped too (I'm basically saying it was his fault...bad influence...he was older), and I'm NOT a morning person, especially when there are parties to be had.....I DIGRESSIONATE.

My co-worker sent me a website where you can buy the same engagement ring that Edward gives Bella. WHAT.THE.PFEFFERNUSSE.

you can buy the ring HERE. Not that you'd want to...you would? ew.

I mean I'm all in love with vamps and sparkly hot (I guess in real life they'd be cold, but whatev) men and what not, but COME ON. When you're 90 and looking at this ring, you might think differently. PLUS, it's not really pretty. Nor does it look like a real live engagement ring. It looks like something you could buy at FOREVER21 for $5.80 (I heart forever21, but it's not where I want my engagement ring from...obvi). So, they also give you options. You can have the CHEAP version, the MEDIUM CHEAP version, and the REAL version. Who the EFF is going to know? I honestly think its creep-tastic. Thoughts???

Other Cray Cray Bits for you:

I have three term papers left to write then I AM DONE-ZO.

My professor used the word "TROLL" in class the other day and I lit-rilly almost had to walk out because I was about to go all loosey goosey and crack up.

CARISSA and I collaborated and created the word "DOUCHENGOYLE" to describe a stupid dude. It is a combination of "douche canoe" and "gargoyle". Use it. Love it. Spread it. Like BUTTAH.

I decided what I'm going to name my next dog. Actually, I might get one soon. You all know how my precious baby love nugget is currently named Sushi, and I'm getting her a sister (I think/hope) and naming her Shinko. It's a japanese name for a girl, and also a type of Sushi. You're jealous. I've accidentally been calling Sushi "Shinko" and she's all "bitch get my name right"...

Allright, I have a confesh.
I'm secretly (not so secretly anymore) OBSESSED with the song "Red Blooded Woman" by Kylie Minogue. JUDGE ME. Then listen to it and TRY TO JUDGE ME. Miley and Britney of course remain in first place forever. Obvi. Who do you think I am?

peaceloveanddouchengoyles,
lovelovelove,

For a Friend...

2010-04-28T22:37:00.000-07:00

So I have a post ready to be posted, but I couldn't find the humor to post it tonight.

Today I found out that a sorority sister passed away. We don't know the details, but it has me reeling. I'm not a mushy chick, and I avoid writing about things like this. I've dealt with a lot of death in my life, and it's not something I typically go on about. Was this my best friend who passed away? No. But regardless, it's not easy to swallow.

Basically, today, I want everyone to put her and her family in your thoughts, and to take a minute. Breathe, smile for everything you have, and live your life. Just live your life, don't worry about what you're wearing, who looked at you the wrong way, just be here for the love and happiness that the world has to offer. I know I bitch, moan and complain a lot on the blog, and I know I judge, I worry about my clothes, etc. But today I want to live for my friend, and smile for her. So smile for what you've got people, 'cause we never know what's next.

peaceloveandmorelove,
lovelovelove,

BIG Nooz and Roolz...Jules Bear Style....

2010-04-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

Are you confuzzled? Because I spelled Nooze and Roolz instead of News and Rules? Well, I like to mis-spell things. It makes me feel dangerous. I won spelling bees like it was my JOB way back, and I'm kind of a freakishly good speller, so when I purposely mis-spell things, I feel dangerous. REAL dangerous.

Moving on.

I'z got some NOOZ for you! (See!? I did it again...danger is my middle name...)

NOOZ:

1. YESTERDAY I OFFICIALLY PASSED MY GRADUATE COMPREHENSIVE EXAM! this means I get to GRADJOOATE! (graduate)!!!!!!!!!!! Now I just have three term papers and a presentation left. Piece of cake. kinda. not really. effffff.

2. MY BESTICLE/BEEFER/TROLL PRINCESS PARTNER IN CRIME is coming to visit me for my graduation!!!! She gets here May 13th! For those of you who don't know her, she's the one involved in THIS STORY. We're basically going to have LOTZ OF FUN.

3. I was running again on my nature trail thingie, and I saw a BLACK SQUIRREL. HOLY AWESOMENESS. I had never seen one. It was like I saw a Unicorn or something. Srsly. Of course I stopped. Of course. Not weird. AT ALL.

Ok so onto the "ROOLZ":

I decided to create a new blog topic titled "ROOLZ". These ROOLZ are just me going on about how I think things should be. So here we go.

1. Everyone should pass an IQ test in addition to the Driver's test. There are WAY TOO MANY idiots on the road, and they all seem to gravitate towards my general direction. Which leads to my road rage. No me gusta.

2. There should be a real live fashion police. How awesome would that be? Seriously. Think about it.

3. People who don't know how to properly sneeze or cough should be punished. By being sneezed or coughed on. Seriously people. COVER YOUR MOUTH.

4. There should be "Manners class" in elementary or middle school just like "Grammar" or "Home Economics". Kids will learn to say please, thank you, excuse me, pardon me, and learn how to shake hands. Because we all know there is NOTHING WORSE than a LIMP HANDSHAKE. Blechhhh. I just cringed.

In other NOOZ, I will be working on my music blog soon, but in the meantime, fill your ears with this magic!

"Who's Afraid of Detroit?"- Claude Vonstroke

"Say Yeah"- Wiz Khalifa

"Accidental Babies" -Damien Rice

"I Only Wear Blue" - Dr. Dog

"We Own the Sky"- M83

peaceloveblacksquirrelsandbaddrivers,

lovelovelove,

Reason #934875398 Why I'm Regina George, but it's ok because it cancels out...

2010-04-21T10:08:00.000-07:00

K, so member how I told you I'm pretty much Regina George's twin but not blonde? So I had another Regina moment in class yesterday. There I was, minding my own business, when a classmate started flipping out about the class computer not working and she had to present. So, me being a good person volunteered my laptop for her to use in class. (This was more of a Cady Heron sweet innocent moment, not Regina)...

This was a BIG sacrifice, because I fully intended on using these class hours to read your blogs and play catch up. Fast forward to the end of class, where I get my laptop back and am happily blogging away. I look over. Girl who borrowed my laptop pulls a bottle of "Lubriderm" intensive healing lotion out of her backpack. NO big. I figure she's a fan of moisturizing...in class..weird but not superweird. THEN I SAW IT. She was rubbing lotion on a HUGE HUGE BUMPY RED RASH ON HER HANDS AND ARMS. THE SAME HANDS AND ARMS THAT WERE JUST TOUCHING MY LAPTOP. WHAT THE EFFING EFF.

It was taking EVERYTHING inside of me not to yak, cry, and start flailing my arms hysterically and screaming "OH SICK, OH THIS IS EFFING SICK, HOE EM EFFING GEE NOW I'M GOING TO CATCH EBOLA OR WHATEVER AVIAN FLU GERMS THIS TRICK JUST INFECTED ONTO MY LAPTOP, WHERE IS THE PURELL??! I NEED A GAS MASK. HOE EM GEE WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, WHAT IF THIS IS FLESH EATING BACTERIA!!!!!!!". I frantically paw through my bag looking for my germ gel, empty half of it onto my hands and arms, all while MAJORLY staring and stink eye-ing rash girl, and then shut my computer off, closed it and PRAYED that my germ gel would kill the rash bugs DEAD. I'm HIGHLY considering taking some foot cream to her next week and saying "this really helps rashes"...or maybe some super strong acid that will burn flesh off...because no one messes with my skin. NO ONE. DOUBLE YOU TEA EFF SKIN RASHES.

MOVING ON.

My Regina George-ness was later cancelled out by the fact that I am a super human animal whisperer/PETA should hire me to be the animal ambassador or something like that. K so here's the lowdown. I was running yesterday, and I run on this like nature trail thing. It's rillly pretty and relaxing and awesome. So, I'm finishing up my run, when lo and behold, I see a moving object in the grass right by my foot. What was it!? It was this.

CUTEST MINI-BUNNY IN.THE.WORLD.EVER.SRSLY.EVERRRRR.

Hold the phone. This is THE CUTEST thing I have EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. So what does Jules-Bear AKA expert animal whisperer do?! I squat on the trail, and whisper to bunny. Bunny DID NOT run away, bunny hopped over to my feet, looked up at me, nibbled some clover, and we spoke bunny LOVE to each other for like ten minutes. I'm serious. People kept stopping, thinking I was hurt or dying of a cramp, only to notice my expertise in animal whispering and would gasp in amazement that bun-bun was hanging out with me, not scared AT ALL. I was so so so pissed that I don't run with my phone, and I SERIOUSLY considered putting bun-bun in my shirt and taking it home, but I remembered that bunnies have heart attacks really easily and I DID NOT want bad animal karma and bunny blood on my hands. So, me and bun-bun parted ways, and I finished my run. CAN I GET A WITNESS!? THE END. But see how my animal kindness cancels out my Regina-ness? It totes does.

until tomorrow, peacelove&tinybunnies&prayingidon'thaveebola/avianflu/flesheatingbacteria

lovelovelove,

I'M BACK WITH A CONFESSION...

2010-04-19T14:12:00.000-07:00

LOVAHS!!!

Hoe Em Gee, I feel like I fell off the blogosphere/universe/circle of life for a WHILE. But, I'm happy to announce that I took my big bitch of an exam Saturday morning, and after 4.5 hours of writing my face off, they're over!!! I think I did well, especially after studying all flippin' week and cutting myself off from the world. But my hand hurt like rilllly bad.

All I have left till I graduate are 3 term papers and my oral exam! Woop! I'm so flippin' excited.

So after my exam, I was all, "let's get crazy and celebrate" and since I was running on no sleep and gummy bears/coffee/kozy shack no sugar added rice pudding/more coffee and gummy bears, I had my first beer and felt like I had beat a rugby team in a chugging contest ( I was WAY buzzed after ONE BEER. No bueno). So I laid off the booze for fear of getting schnockered and then spent allllllllllll day Sunday paying homage to sloths around the world and laying in bed watching Netflix. Holla.

So, I have a confession. I am Regina George. Lately, I realized I have had a lot of Regina George moments and I think we are one and the same. Srsly. It's 'cause I'm a Virgo, and we're SUPER UBER critical creatures who are nitpicky and finicky about dumb shit. SO, last week, when I was leaving campus, I spotted this creature and flat out stopped walking, pulled my phone out, and blatantly took a pic. I HAD to. Because who the EFF dresses like this to SCHOOL!?!? Plus, since I've been a bad blogger, I knew I owed it to you guys. I generally try to channel Mary Kate Olsen when I go to school (bag-lady-like combinations of clothing and "hipster-chic" combos that sometimes might make you die a little).

Here it is:

Ummm....do we offer degrees in stripping? I'm so confused. And Yes, those ARE platform STILL-E-TOS. More like STILL-E-HOE.

Anywhooo, I'm so glad to be back and will be reading all your lovely stuff once again! I've got lots to tell y'all and have decided that YES, I will be doing a music blog, but only after I catch up with you guys!!

peaceloveandskankysloresgalore,

lovelovelove

Mini Post #2...But you'll like it. TRUST. Maybe.

2010-04-12T20:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here's a mini-post, because I've been under a rock studying. I'm praying I don't forget how to be in public after my hermit week. Blech.

Anywhooz, you know how when you're delirious/cracked the eff out/ fighting ADD like whoah? You know how your mind wanders into the far depths of your psyche and you think of the most random stuff? Know how when you're cracked the eff out/stressed like whoa, you have cray cray dreams/nightmares that are pertinent to your current sitch? Well, my dreams have involved Drew Barrymore and Tom Hanks....weird. No correlation to what I've been studying. At all. My brain is broken. Or something like that.

I DIGRESS...

So I know y'all don't really listen to me when I blab and blab about my music picks of the week and my "Musique Du Jour" segments, and that's fine. We can't all have fantabulous taste in music. (See what I did there? I stroked my own ego....yeah. It just happened.) SO, my cracked out self has decided that once this shitstorm of a month is over, and I'm back to normal levels of cray cray, I think I'm going to start a music blog. Thoughts? Should I? Shan't? Spill.

In the meantime, fill your ears with this while I go back to my dark smart cave.

"Tie Up My Hands" by Starsailor. What a sexy song. I'm OBSESSIONATED. I added the video so you lazies can listen NOW. If not, go to www.lala.com DO IT.

"Basic Space" The xx

"A Perfect Day Elise (Live)" Home Video

I miss you guys! I'll be back soon! Promise.

peaceloveandapotentialblogbunintheoven,

lovelovelove,

RRRReal Quick:

2010-04-08T13:39:00.000-07:00

I couldn't help myself. I just can't stay away. So here's a mini-post. Like a mini-horse, but a mini-post. Or something. I'm clearly lucid. Not.

1. Y'all are the bestest. Thanks for all the kind words about my exams! I'm nervous as a long tailed cat in a room-full of rocking chairs, but hopefully I'll come out with good results!

2. Y'all are awesome because I'm a sucky blogger friend and haven't been commenting on your blogs, but I still love you and will be back so so so soon!

3. I wanna talk about karma real quick. Do you believe in it? Because I DO. And she's a lot like me....She's really really cool and nice when you're nice to her and treat her and her friends well, but when you mess with her and get all up in her grill...she's a rilllllllllllly big bad beotch. I have a long fuse, but when it blows...it ain't pretty. K...SO. I set up two of my super close friends, and they are so adorable together, and they're totes in LURVE. So I'm pretty sure I have like 57397983769847689756985 million trillion karma points in my karma point bank right now...RIGHT?! And people who mess with people's emotions get negative million trillion karma points deducted....RIGHT?! So...in short, and to quote Mr. Overly Competitive. I WIN. I WIN THE KARMA POINT WAR. Karma is my beefer. Basically.

They should go ahead and make this in my size. Srsly.

Ok, back to the cave where I study, punctuated by periodic loud sighs, stare at walls, mutter to myself, and read my face off. Fun right? NO.

Pee Ess... The Big Pink was pretty fab last night. I think. Meh.

Have an amazing weekend!

peaceloveandlotsofgoodkarma,

lovelovelove,

Menageries...

2010-04-06T13:54:00.000-07:00

Hii! Member me? No? I don't blame you.... lemme break it down for ya....

My Master's program is coming to a close, I have my comprehensive exams next Saturday and then the next Tuesday. What are those? Pure miz. The first part is 5 hours of written exam on everything I've learned in 2 years. The second part is an oral exam that last about an hour. Weeee. Not. So I'm buried under books.

Tomorrow night I'm going to see The Big Pink! I'm so excited to see them live! Will def. post pics!

I'm going to be kind of MIA till after the big exams are over, but don't think I haven't forgotten about you! Can't wait to be back for realz.

Hope everyone had a great Easter and is enjoying this GORGEOUS spring weather, and yes, my inner Chihuahua is REJOICING.

peaceloveandlotsofstudying,
lovelovelove,

'Napped....

2010-03-31T12:17:00.000-07:00

Ok Lovahs, I'm so so so sorry, I've been a bad bad blogger, like rilllly bad. But I have reasons.

A. I was in Austin this past weekend with my fam. I love my fam. Let me tell you, there is no better feeling than your 3 year old niece staring up at you and saying "I love you Aunt Julie, are you going to live here? Can we do makeovers and can you braid my hair"...PRICELESS. Also, top 10 life moments: Driving in the car, my sister in law puts on a "sing-a-long CD" and of course, Miley Cyrus "Party in the USA" comes on. I'm ecstatic, because in college, people called me Miley sometimes (not kidding) and my 3 year old niece KNOWS THE WORDS. I was SO PROUD. But then she corrected me, it's not "And a Jay-Z song was on.." It's actually, "And A Chinese Song was on..." So there you have it. Amazing.

B. I had a real live panic attack Monday afternoon. Of course I was in bumper to bumper traffic on the FREEWAY,so I couldn't pull over, so I was hyperventilating in my car, feeling like I was gonna yak, and trying not to basically completely melt down. Yeah. It happened. Haven't had one of those in 7 years.

C. I'm in the ROUGH part of my semester, which means I've been studying my face off, and have NO free time. Which is why I can't be a good blogger. I'm so sorry! I'll be back soon!

D. I got 'napped by whore-moans again. I'm not really sure if I'm totally back, but this time they came with a vengeance. NO BUENO.

So, I love y'all, I PROMISE I'll be back soon, please don't hate me or forget about me! And just for your viewing pleasure, I'm including a video of the monkey riding the dog I told you about from the rodeo.

peaceloveandMileyCyrus,

lovelovelove,

K Wait...Screw the Aforementioned Post...

2010-03-24T13:59:00.000-07:00

Ok so I know I said I was taking a mini-hiatus...but I figured I'd entertain you...because that's what I do...

Member when I was all "Hoe em gee I'm obsessed with Friday Night Lights and Tim Riggins??!"....it's gotten worse. I'm not kidding. I sit at work/in class all day wondering what's going to happen next, wondering if Tim will dump Lyla and choose his soulmate (me). Wondering if the Panthers will make it to state. Wondering where Tammy Taylor got those aviator sunglasses she wears....it's BAD people. And now I'm all angsty because I finished season three on instant Netflix and I have to WAIT for season 4 to be delivered via snail mail. I cant.take.it.any.longer.

I had a dream(s) about me and Riggins. We are married. We are happy. He goes to college, graduates, and now he's in a band and he writes allllll these songs about ME. I need help. SRSLY. Help me.

Has anyone ever been this obsessionated? HELP.

Where'd she get those? I want.

He's mine. All. Mine.

Don't Be Jealous. It's fate. We're meant to be.

what you can't see is me running up behind her to TACKLE THE LITTLE SKANK. Hands.Off.NOW.

DO I need to attend TV addicts anonymous? Is this my subconscious mind telling me that my fate really is to be with Tim? Ahhhhh. Help. This warrants an episode of "Intervention". Srsly.

peaceloveJules&TimFOREVAH.

lovelovelove,

M.I.A.

2010-03-24T13:37:00.000-07:00

Lovahs,

I'm a bit MIA lately, but everything's cool, just got a lot on my plate right now and sadly, I haven't had time to blog, and I don't want to write pointless posts to fill space...sooo...Mini blogging hiatus, till around Monday, but you never know, I might come back and surprise you! So, I'll leave you with some pics from Keith Urban, St. Patrick's Day, and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club!

He's looking back at me and smiling. No big deal.

BAGPIPES!

Irish Car Bombs. My fave.

What a show.

The end!

Since it's Double You Tea Eff Wednesday, here's a morsel.

I am graduating from my Master's Program in like a month. UMMMM WTF time warp? Has it srsly been two years???? Ahhhh.

peaceloveandbadassconcerts,

lovelovelove,

PEE ESS. I got a new button for the blog! Snag it and put it on your blog and I'll love your FOREVAHHHH.

Monday Music and Thangs...

2010-03-22T10:22:00.000-07:00

Lovahs!

Spring Break is over (sadface) but I'm happy to report that it went smoothly. Not nearly as exciting as previous college spring breaks, but still relaxing, fun, and VERY musical.

Keith Urban was a-mazing. I will post pics later from our AMAZING 7th row seats. THEN I went and saw Band of Skulls and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club on Saturday, and they put on a SPECTACULAR show.

Ok, so I've mentioned my nervous laugh to y'all before. It's not really a laugh, it starts as a giggle, then gets increasingly more high pitched and then reaches decibels only dogs and bats can hear. My beefer since 2nd grade "Lola" also has this nervous laugh. So when we're together, and nervous, it's like a high pitched giggle fest. Enter the night of the Brett Dennen/Erin McCarley concert.

We had just had a lovely musical evening filling our ears with musical candy and treats. On the way home, around 11ish, we were driving down the freeway. I am petrified of heights, Lola is kinda too. There is a HUGE, I mean HUGE overpass in Houston that is literally a bajillion feet high, and it's ONE CAR LENGTH wide. So, you're basically teetering over the city. UMMM. SCARY.

captain gigglebox.

SO Lola and I start kind of joking about how scary the overpass is....we start approaching the overpass...I start to giggle....She starts to giggle...Giggling is now more high pitched....Overpass is fast approaching....Giggling becomes hysterical...Lola has tears streaming down her face she's giggling so hard...I can scarcely breathe I'm giggling so hard...Overpass is HERE.NOW....Pretty sure we could've shattered windows at this point the giggling is OOC (out of control). Lola is WHEEZING she's still giggling....More giggles. Giggles turn into HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER. I'm talkin' uncontrollable, gut hurting, tear jerking, can't breathe, can't talk, Lola is having trouble holding the wheel straight HYSTERICAL NERVOUS LAUGHTER. All of this is taking place as our lives hang (literally) over the highest point on the planet. Then, we realized we made it. We were alive. So we laugh about that some more. Classic Beefer Moment. Classic.

I'll be back with lots of fun stuff for you this week!

peaceloveandgigglefests,

lovelovelove,

Make Outz

2010-03-16T11:23:00.000-07:00

Friends and Lovahs, Lovahs and Friends,

I'm going to the rodeo tonight to see Mr. Keith Urban!!!!!!!!! I'm uber.excited. I'll take some pics for all you non-texans. I'm praying I can catch the show where a tiny monkey dressed up as a cowboy rides a border collie dressed as a horse, it's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.

So, I have a male beefer who was bitching about him not being mentioned in my blog. Even though I did his damn laundry for two years in college. He knows I heart him to the moon and back, so here's his mention. I will tell a story about him that is both embarrassing and endearing, because that's what I do.

One night, we all went out on the town in Nashville. Beverages were consumed, the dance floor was DOMINATED by us, and cab drivers feared us (totally standard for us). I had intense eye sex with a cute stranger the entire night, and when he came over to talk to me, I said "It's about damn time." (I'm very blunt...oopsies...but he liked it and we actually ended up dating for a while)...I DIGRESS.

So, girl beefer and boy beefer and I headed back to boy beefer's house because he had booze and we wanted to late-night. Then I noticed boy and girl beefer batting eyelashes and flirting. Oh.Sweet.Jeebus.

Next thing I know, I'm alone, on the couch, sipping on a beer, and waiting for girl and boy beefer to finish whatever it was that they were doing upstairs. They were always "friends" but I'm pretty sure they were in the process of getting EXTRA friendly.

Girl beefer and I are close. THISCLOSE. So we say whatever we want to each other. So, when girlbeefer FINALLY stumbles downstairs, I'm highly amused, because now I can give my beefers HELL for as long as possible. The following convo ensued.

Me: "Umm...so were y'all folding laundry or sucking face??"

Girl Beefer: "What!? No, we were just talking, nothing happened, jeez chill out..."

Me: "OH, so is that why your top is on INSIDE OUT?!"

Girl Beefer: "Oh. shit. Um. Well. Shit. DON'T SAY ANYTHING"

Me: "Oh...don't worry... I won't" meanwhile evil Cheshire Cat grin/Dwight Schrute evil face is in FULL FORCE. I had ammo, and you can bet your ass I was gonna use it.

The end. LOVE YOU GIRL AND BOY BEEFERS. And I know you love me for giving you hell. You so love it.

peacelovekeithurbanandmakeoutsessions,

lovelovelove,

Spring Break Smorgasbord....

2010-03-14T23:50:00.000-07:00

Kitty Kats,

I've been super busy ~~drinking, partying, sunning~~, WORKING REALLY HARD, the past few days, so I've just got to give you some morsels...I'll be back in full hurricane force this week!

I created a new cocktail with one of my fave bartenders this weekend. I told him I wanted something that tasted like a chocolate-y candy bar in my mouth (that's what she said) so he mixed equal parts (by equal parts I mean LOTS) Kahlua, Amaretto, and then a splash of soda. DELISH. I drank two. Then I switched to beer because I had already had champers, then I had a guh-rrrreat night. The end. I named it the "candy bar". Creativity at its best....except not really.
My PIC (partner in crime) told me something that made me almost kinda pee in my pants. We were discussing this recent troll in my life (troll=douche bag) and she said "you know what?! He's totes a one trick pony"....basically "one trick pony" is now my favorite insult. evah.
It's GORGEOUS in Houston. SO I've been outside as much as possible, and I'm now a few shades darker! Inner Chihuahua is REEEEE-JOICING.
I will be posting pics this week of my outfit from my big day Friday.
Pauly D from the Jersey Shore was in Houston this weekend. I KNOW that "At Least I'm Skinny"(pls. blog more about Jabroni-ness..The suspense is KILLING me) is SUPER jeal. But I didn't see him. But we shared the same city oxygen or something like that...
Fate/Destiny is a cray cray thing. Ask Carissa. I told her all about my weird coincidence this weekend. Things fall into place. Always. Don't tempt fate. Basically.
I'm severely addicted to Friday Night Lights. I even had a dream about me and Tim Riggins. I'll spare you the deets.
TODAY. I LAID OUT IN THE SUN. In a bathing suit. With beer(s). And music. HEAVEN.ON.EARTH. Once again, inner chihuahua NIRVANA.

love y'all.

peacelovesunshineandtimriggins,

lovelovelove,

Operation Mermaid Locks = SUCCESS.

2010-03-11T11:46:00.000-08:00

Lovahs!

I went to get my hair did last night and it was a GREAT SUCCESS. Mermaid Locks are intact and I'm sure all your locklove was manifested in the scissors that the lady used. I wanted to test a theory of mine, so I told her to shampoo, cut, and leave it be. So, she washed, snipped, put some BioSilk in it, and then I let it air dry. This is my new "wash&wear" look! I lurve it! So easy peasy!

No, I don't really have pink blocks on my face. I'm still nervie to reveal my face. Deal. Oh and PLEASE excuse the PALENESS. IT'S DISTURBING.

Moving ON.

Yesterday, I was minding my own beeswax, walking along the sidewalk to go make some copies, and there was this posse of people on the sidewalk holding up signs saying "free compliments"....So, as I walked by, this chick shouts "I like your sunglasses!" And I'm all weirded out. Because LIT-RILLY everyone that walked by got "complimented", which TO ME defeats the whole purpose. I don't dish out compliments unless I mean them And who's to say if that person REALLY liked my wayfarers? She HAD to compliment me. I say weird and unnecessary. Maybe. But that's me. At least it wasn't the Jehovah's witnesses who hand out Bibles on the daily. I always feel like a huge a-hole and tell them "No thanks! I already got one!" Plus I think it's a royal waste of paper. CAN I GET A WITNESS!?

In other news. I'm now obsessed with "Friday Night Lights" and I am really pissed off because I think I have also developed a crush on Taylor Kitsch/Tim Riggins AND a crush on Coach Taylor. THIS IS NOT HEALTHY. Help. Because I also think I have a crush on Chuck Bass.

I'm thinking me and Riggins will work out best, because I'm not a homewrecker, and Chuck is a little young for me. Basically. Oh and Friday Night Lights is filmed in ATX, and I have been to a LOT of the places they film and so then we'd have a lot in common. True Story. Even though he's Canadian but whatever.

So, I'm starting spring break tonight! And I have a BIG DAY tomorrow! I'll let y'all know what it is after the fact! Have an amazing day! My inner Chihuahua is leaping for joy today since it's FINALLY WARM AND SUNNY!!

peacelovemermaidlocksandcuteboys,

lovelovelove,

A Is For Art

2010-03-10T09:39:00.000-08:00

Soooo....My homeskillet Cher over at "The Only Girl" really liked my Doodle from a couple days ago, so I told her I'd doodle for her! So here it is...

It's prettier in big form, Cher, I'll e-mail all the copies to you!

So it's Double You Tea Eff Wednesday:

It's finally warmer here in Houston (yaythankthesweetsweetlord) but it's raining...WTF weather!?
I really. really. really. need to have a job come May. Srsly. WTF miz miz economy!?
I'm getting my hair cut today and I can't decide what look to go for...WTF indecision!?

Here are my favorite looks. I tried to find people with my hair texture and length. I want to keep my mermaid locks intact for summer. Because Mermaid Hair is the BEST. I will never tire of Merm Locks. Evah.

The Contenders:

Sideswept Longer Bangs. I heart this.

My hair is wavy like these, so I like the look? No?

More Mermaid Locks. Love Minka Kelly.

Do those all look the same? Maybe. So I guess I have my answer. All I know is I'm super nervie to get my hair done because I don't trust people with my Mermaid Locks. So wish me lots of LockLove.

OH! I solved the MYSTERY OF THE WHITE POWDER IN JULES BEAR'S OFFICE TOILET!

Yeah. Call me Supah Sleuth. I went to tinkle yesterday, and I saw this woman at the sink, with a huge toiletry bag, clearly had just gotten back from the gym. I realized she goes to the gym during lunch, changes in the stall, and "freshens" her lady bits with baby powder because I SAW the baby powder in her toiletry bag. Did I mention she feels the need to spray nasty body spray? Like A LOT of nasty body spray? BLECHHH.

I'll take a pic of my new coiffe latah!

peaceloveandmermaidlocks,

lovelovelove,

Sparkly Crack and Spring Cleaning

2010-03-09T12:56:00.000-08:00

Are you excited to read about sparkly crack? Well I'm excited to tell you about it! Sooo, as I've mentioned before, my graduate school is located in one of the most shady/sketchy/creepy/dangerous/ghetto/homemgeeeithinkiminanepisodeof'thewire'rightnow areas of town. It's called the 'third ward' sounds scary huh? So, I get out late at night usually. And usually, I speed, run stoplights, and get the hell out as quickly as possible, because there are typically like 10 cop cars arresting people at every corner. (Not kidding). And there are constantly stray pit bulls a la Michael Vick roaming about, and I have to keep driving otherwise I start crying (which has happened before) because I want to adopt them all. I DIGRESS.

I was driving home early last week, at the pinnacle of my cold, and I was feeling uber yucky. And lo and behold, I look up at the stop light. And I see this.

Now, I don't know if you can really tell, but these shoes are PINK AND SPARKLY. There they hung, sparkling in the sun, and I was so excited to tell you guys all about them. In my experience/knowledge, I have been told that people toss their shoes up on these wires to keep their crack stash safe....so, these people kind of suck at protecting their crack because HOW CAN YOU MISS THEM? They are PINK and SPARKLY!!! So there lies someone's sparkly crack stash. THE END.

In other news, I am giving my blog a Spring Cleaning Makeover. AND I JOINED TWITTER. I repeat, I JOINED TWITTER. Now someone help me put up a nifty "Follow Me On Twitter" button on my page because I'm technically impaired. My twitter name is "LifeOnAHanger" go figure. ALSO, I want to have a signature thingie. E-mail me if you can help!? Por favor? Y'all rock.

Oh, and I'M WEARING FLIP FLOPS TODAY! It's actually warm here! My inner Chihuahua is squealing for joy and my skin is no longer nearing PHASE 4 of plant death. Get excited people.

peaceloveandsparklycrackandhappychihuahuas,

lovelovelove,

Dodo Birds and Smiling Cats...

2010-03-08T10:02:00.000-08:00

Hoe Em Gee, I'm back! I fell of the edge of the world for a spell, thanks to my faulty immune system and a little too much school and work. BUT I'm back and ready to rock!

So am I weird because I forgot to watch the Oscar's? Yes. But it gives me something to research when I'm bored today. Is it weird that instead of watching the Oscar's I went to see Alice In Wonderland? Hell to the no, because AIW was/is one of my favorite books of all time, and AIW is my favorite Disney movie EVAH, with The Little Merm coming in at second place. Since I've never really been the type to do hallucinogenic drugs, AIW takes me to a place that opium/LSD/acid/shrooms could potentially take me, and without the hangover! Curiouser and curiouser!

Moving on. I went to see Tyrone Wells Friday night with a bag-full of tissues for my nasty cold, and he was A-MAZING. Srsly. I'm slightly pissed he's married, but whatevs. Tony Lucca opened for him, and lo and behold I have another musical crush. He's rah-some. What an amazing show, PLUS he played alllll the songs I wanted to hear, so permasmile was ON, despite the sniffles and face pain (sinus infection..blech)

K, so my face still hurts a little. But that doesn't mean I can't give you some GREEK salad today. I will not name any specific names or houses, so peeps don't get offended or what not.

A certain SOMEONE (me) was blacklisted from a certain house because a certain SOMEONE (me) made out with an upperclassman's boyfriend. In a certain SOMEONE'S defense (mine), I didn't know he had a girlfriend PLUS he was a senior, and the prez of his frat, and SMOKIN' hot. How was I going to say no to that? It was worth the stink eye she gave me for a year. Plus he still called me for three years after. Who's the boss now?
Certain houses would put the "ugly" or "fat" girls on "kitchen duty" during rush. True story.
A certain house had a "troll patrol" committee where "troll-ish" girls were weeded out. There may or may not even have been a "troll patrol" water gun that was passed on to new crops of "troll patrol" committees.
Certain houses labeled girls that got into the house one year, but turned out to totally suck "crackslippers". Meaning they somehow snuck past "troll patrol" or were legacies that we couldn't get rid of no matter how hard they tried to dig dirt up.
Certain houses had to text message names of freshman girls to the rush chair while out and about partying to rank/judge them as they met them, and to keep notes/tabs. Ex: Upperclassman meets "Skanky McSkankerson" at a tailgate. Upperclassman text messages the rush chair (usually not sober) "Hoe Em Gee, just met a frosh named 'Skanky McSkankerson'... she's pretty, but WAY-sted and her dress flew up at the tailgate and I saw her flirt with someone's bf".

And there you have it. S-E-C- sorostitution at its best. Amazing. Because no one does it better than the S-E-C. No one.

This weekend, I was at a crawfish boil with some amigos, and I spotted with my eagle eye vision a guy I had gone on a mizmiz date with several months ago. Our parting words on the date were,

Him: "So when can I see you again?"

Me: "Uhh...well...I'm gonna be out of town for the next 4 weekends, and I stay pretty busy...soo...I'll call you?" (funny sidenote...I ran into him two weeks later...oopsies)

So, needless to say, I pretended I didn't know who he was, despite the fact that he was CIRCLING my group of friend for 2 HOURS. Ughh. Can I Get A Witness?

Now be on your merry way and listen to some Santigold and Sparklehorse while you're at it.

peaceloveandcheshirecats,

lovelovelove,

Jules.

I'm NOT On A Boat, I'm In A Cave, And I HATE It...

2010-03-02T22:20:00.000-08:00

So I finish my hell week at school/work and I'm so stoked to party and celebrate, but NOOOOOO, my effing immune system decided to shut down. So, I will probably not remember what this post says since I'm fairly certain there's a rabid wolverine clawing around my face, ripping out my eardrums, and shoving it's razorsharp claw down my throat and up my schnoz. I have a nasty. NASTY. bitch of a cold. And it hates me. And I hate it. It's war.

I'm a sick monster. My hair hurts.

I'm one of those people with a high pain tolerance, but when I get sick, I turn into a huge HUGE baby. I'm all, "I want my mom, wait no, I want juice, wait, no, I want sorbet for my throat, wait, no, I want tea, somebody pet my head, wait no, my hair hurts, wait, no, so do my eyelashes, wait no, someone snuggle me, I swear I'm not contagious, wait, no, you're getting too close, stop breathing on me, wait, no, come back, don't leave me alone, wait, no, bring me some ginger ale, wait, no, make sure it's DIET!" GET THE PICTURE??? I'M A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS!So I've been writhing and moaning in my bed, watching Gossip Girl, listening to crybaby music and feeling sorry for myself, and going through Puffs Kleenex with lotion AND Vicks, and chugging juice and taking herbal supplements like crazy. I wouldn't be surprised if I sprouted roots. If I'm not better by this weekend, I will HURT someone. Srsly.

So, since I'm alllll kinds of cracked out, here's some stuff for your eyeballs.

Exhibit A: This is something my bestest besticle beefer sent me today, and something that I KNOW my kid will totally do someday, and I will give them A HIGH FIVE. Because it's awesome.

"another student made the comment 'you need to push it in further' (innocent comment) and Dalton added 'that's what she said".....WHATEVER, THE KID THAT SAID "YOU NEED TO PUSH IT IN FURTHER" WAS TOTES ASKING FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Fact:

I have never peed in my pants. Not even a little bit. I'm kind of pissed off (no pun intended) that this hasn't happened to me. I mean, I've fallen in sewers, been driven home in a tourbus at 3 am, and plenty of other awful/awesome stuff, but have NEVER peed in my pants. So I'm kind of lying every time I say "hoe em gee I just peed myself laughing so hard' because I NEVER HAVE. And I'm sad about that a little. Is that weird? Is it the drugz talking? MAYBE. Have you ever tinkled in your pantalones???? SPILL. not literally. but srsly. SPILL.

Jules Bear's waaaah-waaaah, cry me a river I'm sick and feeling pitiful playlist:

" I Can Feel A Hot One" Manchester Orchestra

"The Ice Is Getting Thinner" Death Cab For Cutie

"Pretty Boy Floyd" Kid Loco

"Velvet" The Big Pink

"Botan" Peder

Some Greekness and Some Girl Crushness...Basically.

2010-03-01T20:36:00.000-08:00

K, so I have a new girlcrush. I mean I'm still loving me some Marion Cotillard, Olivia Palermo, and Carla Bruni; howevah, this one is musical. Musical crushes in my world are a BIG.DEAL. I present to you, AMANDA BLANK. No, not like Amanda ________ but her name is Amanda Blank. She's a girl rapper, (sometimes I try to rap, TRY being the keyword and I'm usually 3 cocktails deep.) However, I have amazing memorization skillz and I know LOTS of lyrics to rap songs. Try me. It's epic.

She's ridiculously awesome and I'm pretty sure she jedi-mind tricked some of the lyrics to her songs outta my head. I think that if she and I hung out, we'd be instant besticles. She's a fierce betch. Now go on your merry way to www.lala.com and LISTEN. My faves are "Might Like You Better" and "A Love Song" she stole those lyrics from my brain. Srsly. Oh and don't pretend to listen to the song at the bottom, bc I will know if you did or not. K thanks.

we would be TOTAL BEEFERS.

GREEK-ness.

I was "entertainment round chair" which means I wrote the skit we presented to the rush-ees, wrote all the lyrics to the songs we sang, and picked out who would be in the skit etc. etc. Big deal. I know. SO, one year. I had to bite the bullet, wear a blonde wig, and be Anna Nicole Smith post-TrimSpaBaby!. I know, but trust me it worked. So basically, I had to act all wasted and cray cray.

I wore a black halter dress, and nasty long red nails. HAWT.

Weeks later, Anna Nicole croaks. And I got like 759834598 texts from people being all "HOE EM GEE did you know ANS died and you just pretended to be her?!" Basically like it was my fault or something..um no. I was officially weirded out. And I secretly felt bad for making fun of a now dead person. But we got a good pledge class. So the next year I tried to cast people in the skit that were not likely to die. So we had some Grey's Anatomy peeps, The Olsen Twins, Spice Girls, Paris and Nikki Hilton....Basically, I HAD to keep up with tabloids and PerezHilton to make sure our sorority had a good pledge class. A hard life I lead in college, I tell ya, reading People/Star/USWeekly gets OLD people. (Have you caught on to the heavy handed sarcasm I just laid on you? K good. )

K so, I'm getting sick I think. So I need to go schleep, so here is the video for that cray cray amazing song. ENJOY!

you know you like it!

peaceloveandmusicalgirlcrushes,

lovelovelove,

Jules.

Conversations with a Beefer.....

2010-03-01T11:15:00.000-08:00

Friends and Lovahs,

I know you all just read that title and were all "huh?".... Allow me to explain...

Beefer: (noun). Term used to describe a BFF. Ex: "Aw, beefer, I miss you!"

So, my beefer lives in Nashville right now. She's pretty amazing if I say so myself, otherwise she probs wouldn't be my beefer. Duh.

Today, I have a presentation to finish, so I'm keepin' this one short and suh-weet. I'll be back to normal blog activity tomorrow. Promise.

Typical Convos with the Beefer:

Beefer: "Jules, wanna know something really weird?"

Me: "Uh, sure..."

Beefer: "I'm like....really pretty."

Me: "Does this mean you're in sweats, wearing your rasta hat, trolling the aisles of Whole Foods praying you don't see anyone you know?"

Beefer: "Basically".

Beefer: "Go talk to that guy"

Me: "No, he's fug"

Beefer: "Haha ok fine, he's fug, but his friend is hot so you can break the ice for me"

Me: "Selfish slore."

Beefer: "Let's get more drinks."

Me: "Ok! Love you!"

Me: "That guy is hot."

Beefer: "You have the weirdest taste in men and I have no idea why you pick the ones you do"

Me: "Fine. At least I didn't date the distant cousin of a WALRUS."

Beefer: "I hate you. But I guess you're right."

Me: "Let's get more drinks"

Beefer: "Ok! Love you!"

Me: "Hey Beefer, member that time you dragged me to that guy's house late night and I pretended to smoke pot with you guys and everyone thought I was a total badass because I didn't cough?"

Beefer: "Yeah, that was hysterical!"

Me: "No it wasn't, because then you locked yourself in the guys' bedroom and made me sit alone on the couch with his high roomates and wait for a pledge to pick my ass up and take me home. And when he came to get me, he drove up in a YELLOW HUMMER and I wanted to die."

Beefer: "Yeah, but remember the time you dragged me to that hotel so you could make small talk with that 35 year old guy in that band, only to realize you didn't like him after all and you made him drive you back in the tourbus?"

Me: "Ugh. Fine. Let's go get Maggiano's and eat it in the park"

Beefer: "OK! Love you!"

Basically, we're peas in a pod. She's NEVER BEEN TO TEXAS and I braved the fiercely cold Chicago winter last year to visit her, and I've been to Nashville TWICE, so she owes me a visit.

Excuse the total random-ness of the post, but my brain is half melted from Rodeo weekend and I hate school. Basically. But I love my beefer. Lots.

Musique Du Jour:

The album "Gorilla Manor" by Local Natives

The album "And Then Boom" By Iglu & Hartley

Peaceloveandbeefers,

lovelovelove,

Jules.

The White Powder Mystery....

2010-02-25T08:35:00.000-08:00

Lovahs,

I have my LAST MIDTERM OF LIFE in 3 hours. So I'm cramming....and blogging. This will be my last post till Sunday or so (don't cry, I'll be back in FULL hurricane force next week!) I will be working a tent at the HOUSTON LIVESTOCK SHOW AND RODEO, which is a pretty big deal here in H-town. While you're missing me, I'd like you to help me solve this mystery. We'll call it "The Mystery of the White Powder in the Ladies Room In Jules Bear's Office"....

So. The ladies' room in our building has three stalls. We share the restroom with one other floor. You with me? K good. SO, somehow, someway, always in the afternoon, I find a sprinkling of WHITE POWDER on the toilet seat of the very far right stall. Umm....?????. Is someone hitting the slopes at lunchtime for a quick drug induced pick-me-up? Is it baby powder? Is a baby using the toilet? Is someone sprinkling their lady parts with baby powder? Is it rat poison? WHAT IS IT?! Help. Please. I need to know if a Colombian drug cartel is going to invade my office, so I can be prepared with sling-blades, nun-chucks, and any other necessary items, including my invisibility cloak. Can I Get A Witness?!

Like this. but on the toilet seat. HELP!!!

Now. Since I don't have much time for stories. I will show you some pictures. It's my day for show and tell.

EXHIBIT A:

This is what I drink my tea out of every morning. It's really really big, you can't really tell. But it keeps my tea hot. Oh what's that? It's got a pic of my boyfriend on it? Oh yeah, no big deal....I mean I know most people don't have pics of their boyfriend on their tea cups, but he's not a "normal boyfriend". Sometimes I am sipping my tea and I look over and people are giving me the side eye because they're probz jealous of my boyfriend tea cup. Aren't you?

EXHIBIT B:

Last night. I was studying for my midterm. I got a wee bit ADD....And remember that song I told you to listen to??? "Shark In The Water" by VV Brown? Well I'm obsessed. And I'm also OBSESSED with the new Robin Thicke album "Sex Therapy" jumphopskip over to www.lala.com and listen to it for free NOW. ESPECIALLY the song "It's in the Mornin'" I have been listening to these two songs on repeat for 2 days now. GO. NOW. You'll thank me and want to kiss me on the face.

Now I must return to crammage for this exam, then I'm off to be my little cowgirl self. (Wow, can you tell I'm cracked out....!?) So, yee-haw and I'll be back soon!

peacelove&cowboyboots.

lovelovelove,

Jules.

PREPARE TO BE OBSESSIONATED.

Double You Tea Eff Wednesday and a Greek Morsel

2010-02-24T06:28:00.000-08:00

I've been bad at Double You Tea Eff Wednesday. Sooo, here ya go!

It "slushed" in Houston yesterday. Not snow. Not rain. Slush. And the only Slush that I like involves Tequila, Lime Juice, Salt, and is green: all other Slush is evil. Especially when it falls from the sky onto my head. WTF Weather!?!
I went to the bathroom to wash my hands (because I'm convinced the entire campus of my university is germ-infested) and someone was in the stall GRUNTING, CLEARLY CONSTIPATED and taking a very.very. noisy poodle. I didn't know whether to yak, burst into tears, burst into laughter or a random combination of the three. AND she had her backpack on the ground of the stall which is DIR.TY. WTF ultimate disgustingness!? Take your toilet issues elsewhere honey. And go ahead and toss that backpack.

And now for a mini sorority story.

One time, during rush, this girl's family sent us a HUGE sheet cake with her name on it, so we wouldn't forget to put her on our bid list.(Super creepy.) Clearly her family was trying to sabotage our waistlines and give us muffin tops, so guess what?! CUT. (Just kidding...but she didn't end up being in our sorority. Lord know what else they might have sent? Kalteen bars!? If you can name the movie that's from I will kiss you on the face.) This is just an example of how crazy certain moms/families can get when they want their daughter in a certain house. TOTALLY.CRAY.CRAY.

The cake was literally 2 feet long. I kid you NOT. And it was conveniently in our sorority colors, complete with our sorority flower as decoration. Can you say CRAY CRAY?!

PEE.ESS. I was walking into the office this morning, and I'm not pulling your leg when I tell you that an adorable squirrel was standing at the doors, trying to get in. He was so freaking cute! He stood there, looked at me like "Umm...this is where you open up and let me in" and I was all "awww, you wanna go inside sweet baby!?!?" And then I looked and there was someone behind me who heard me. I think I turned purple. But I'm an animal whisperer, so I whispered the squirrel away. Poor thing was probz freezing its bushy little tail off. Now someone in my building will see me as the "crazy chick who talks to squirrels" and I don't care. CAN I GET A WITNESS?!

lovelovelove,

Jules.

Tardy for the Party. I Know. I'm Sorry.

2010-02-23T09:37:00.000-08:00

Friends and Lovers,Lover and Friends,

Not only am I being kidnapped at the moment (this isn't the real me posting, the real me has been sucked up by jerky whore-moans) but I have a flippin' midterm on Thursday that is, how do you say, IMPOSSIBLE TO STUDY FOR...So, needless to say, I might be a little MIA on the blogosphere till...oh...Next Tuesday.

I have this midterm, then I have to work ALL WEEKEND LONG. Then I have a three hour long presentation Monday...and then ANOTHER three hour long presentation Tuesday. But then, I'm out of the woods and life will be all perfect and shiny and nice. Right? Yes. It will be. It has to be.

Next Friday, I'm super majorly big-time hoping to go see Tyrone Wells in concert. He's a great singer/songwriter after my own heart. Amazing with words, and can sing his face off. Srsly. Don't believe me? Listen to him. Love him. I recommend "Sea Breeze" (one of my favorite songs evah and if he sings it next week I will literally melt. srsly.) "Baby Don't You Change" "Better Off Without You" and "Sink or Swim".

So, in lieu of all the stuff I usually do during the week, I will leave you with a tiny taste of what's to come with sorority stories thanks to my inspiration at Speaking from the Crib.

The term "sorostitute" was used loosely among many members of the Greek community
I was social chair of my sorority. I'm no stranger to a party.
I was also parliamentarian, which means I could throw down. Basically.
Put 200 or so females in a house for a week during rush and you're bound to see more Advil, tampons, lip gloss, cat fights, tears, cookies, pink glittery stuff and estrogen than you've ever wanted to imagine.

Happy Tuesday Kids!

Oh, also, I forgot to tell you. I hate Punxsutawney Phil. I don't care if you call PETA on my ass. That jerk is making a LOT of us freeze our heinies off, and I do NOT appreciate it. I am all in favor of animal rights, I volunteer at the SPCA for Pete's sake, but THIS IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE. Phil, you owe us BIG next year...I'm talkin' you better turn Texas into the freaking Bahamas by next February. I mean it. Don't make me march my animal whisperer self up there to wherever it is you are and make me whisper you into submission....

wipe that smirk off your head...furry jerk.

Musique Du Jour:

Tyrone Wells, srsly he's awesome kids.He's been featured on Grey's Anatomy etc.

"Shark In The Water" VV Brown. (Acoustic Version)

"Awake My Soul" Mumford & Sons

"Revolver" Madonna feat. David Guetta and Lil Wayne

"Slow Down (The Way It Goes)" The Magic Numbers

"Untouchable" Taylor Swift. Yep I said it. I like her. Shut it.

And since I know a lot of you guys might not take my amazing advice and listen to him, here's the video of him performing "Sea Breeze" watch it, then look me in the eyes and tell me it's not a beautiful song. And if you don't like it, then you can go hang out in a cave and freeze with Punxsutawney Phil.

you're welcome.

Sweetness and Such

2010-02-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

Hi Lovahs,

SO, this morning I was on the way to work and brainstorming blog ideas, and I was just concocting random menageries of things that would prob confuse your brains. And since I know it's Monday, I won't do that to you just yet. Then, the lovely Stacy gave me an award! She's a sweet pea who's a whiz in the kitchen and she has the cutest ewok dog EVAH and her and Sushi should prob buy BFF collars...just sayin'. Soo, below is my award! And then I have to list 10 things that make me happy, then I pass it on to 10 peeps. Good thing 10 is my lucky number or else I'd be super annoyed. HENCEFORTH....

Stacy thinks I'm sweet....sweet!

Things that make me Happy (in no particular order):

1.) My crazy family. I'm so lucky to have them, and I don't know what I'd do without them. Cheezeball but true.

2.) Music. Before my feet hit the ground every morning, my speakers are already playing something. My car is never silent, and showers aren't showers if there isn't music on, same goes for cleaning, cooking, etc. etc.

3.) My friends. The Beatles had it right. "I get by with a little help from my friends." I couldn't ask for better ones, y'all know who you are!

4.) The lessons my Dad taught me. I wouldn't be where I am / Who I am without what he taught me and helped me learn.

5.) My pup. Sushi is quite possibly the most loved dog on the planet. She's amazing and her furry little self has seen me at my highest highs and lowest lows.

6.) 75 degree days spent outside in the sun. I think all my readers know about my affinity for warmth and sun about now.

7.) Outdoor concerts. Want to see me with a perma-smile? Take me to an outdoor show. I'll be on cloud 9 for days. Srsly.

8.) Baseball games. Cold beer, hotdogs, and seats behind home plate where I can watch the pitch come in. Talk about happy.

9.) Bodies of water. Get me on the beach or on the lake and everything is A-Ok. Throw a hammock into the mix and we're talking subliminal happiness.

10.) My royal screw-ups in life, heartbreak included. Looking back on all that stuff makes me happy for what it made me realize, what it made me learn, and how it changed my perspective to be better at life, not bitter.

I hereby pass this on to.....

CARISSA bc she's my soultwin and we like to drunkenly text each other on weekends.

I say Yes When I Oughta Say No, because the title speaks for itself and she makes me laugh.

Mr. Overly Competitive because he might be a male version of me in some ways and he cracks me up!

Cher. Because I've been reading her since I started my blog and she's an amazing hawt mama who gives good advice and has hysterical stories and photo-documenting skillz.

Linden. From Cake Called, I Answered, because she's a Houstonian who understands my hatred for shistey weather, cooks like a pro, and has an adorable pup who I might kidnap.

The Girls at Misadventures from the Batcave. Weasel Wednesdays kill me (in the best way possible) and they're full of blog amazingness.

J. From Life. She's another Texan who is super sweet and shares my love for dogs.

Steam Me Up Kid. She KILLZ me and I like it.

At Least I'm Skinny. Because she is crafty and loves J. Shore.

B at Blicious! She is super adorable, takes awesome pics and lets me drool over her closet.

Y'all rock.

Stay tuned this week for some sorority stories! Speaking from the Crib has ~~hazed~~ convinced me into writing about some stories, so maybe I'll call it "Speaking from the Sorority" or something equally non-creative. Ha. Peace out and Happy Monday!

lovelovelove,

Jules.

Dear Climate,

2010-02-19T00:23:00.000-08:00

Dear Weather Patterns in Houston, TX,

Was it something I said? Did you see too much of my skin last summer? Did I get too clingy? Did you not like my fierce new bandeau top for minimal tan lines? Was it the hours and hours I spent lying on a towel blaring music? Was it the handle of sweet tea vodka I shared with friends under you? Or are you being the typical "look I really like you, like a lot, but I just don't know if I can handle something so serious right now?" (Even though that's secretly how I am too...) I don't understand what you're doing. Quit playing games. You know I don't like playing games (unless they involve flip cup, beer pong, circle of death or one, two, three DRINK!)

Me and Lilo are poolside BFF's and we NEED OUR SUNSHINE.

I'm going to be real with you. I CAN'T live without you any longer. My inner chihuahua is slowly dying and withering away, and my skin is now entering PHASE 2 of plant death (that's really really bad). Kiehl's ultra moisturizer isn't even cutting it anymore. I need some tan. I need that "glow". Because without you, I don't look the same. And then the Volturi will be on my ass and I just don't need that! Do you understand me? I'm SO OVER sparkly diamond pale skin!!!!

that is true, except I'm the captain of the super pale team...NOT OK. Whoever said "pale is in" is engaging in a BOLD FACED LIE.

I need you to pull me out of this "funk". I just found out I can't go to COACHELLA (inner sob) and the next two weeks are going to be pure, unadulterated HELL ON EARTH (no, not KELL on earth, because that would be AMAZING). If you don't give me that "glow" soon, I'll never get out of my animal print pj's....I'll never rock the cute side braid with my cute tan. I'll never wear a flowy maxi dress. I need you to help me get ready for JAZZFEST in NEW ORLEANS because I found out that I CAN go to that. So I guess God closed one door, and opened a big-ass window for me. But for the love of my epidermis and my mental stability, PLEASE GET HOT AND SUNNY so I can return to my normal half-chihuahua self. I'm on my knees here. (That's what she said.....)

I am a pale chihuahua, and I am shy because of my pale-ness. HELP!

Musique Du Jour:

The self-titled album by "The Magic Numbers"

"Your Smile" Josh Turner

The album "The Golden Archipelago" by Shearwater

"Madly" Tristan Pettyman

PEE ESS: The WORST DATE EVER text messaged me and asked me out AGAIN. Is this a JOKE? He said "I promise I'll behave." THIS IS A JOKE. ASHTON, I'M NOT KIDDING, JUST GET THE CAMERAS OUT NOW. I'M DONE BEING PUNK'D HERE. For srs. CAN I GET A WITNESS?!

Something You Should Know....

2010-02-18T10:06:00.000-08:00

Lovahs,

Those of you that know me know that I am a very honest person. Brutally honest at times, and sometimes this gets me in a pickle. HOWEVER. I feel I haven't been completely honest with you guys/gals. While it is hard to get to know someone via the blogosphere, there's a part of me you should know about. And here it is.

I am part Chihuahua.

Umm....Yeah. MAYJAH news for you to take in, but it's time you knew. Before I was corrupted by that beotch in science class in 4th grade, I was CONVINCED 100% that I was part wolf and humans and animals could co-exist in the same body. I am an animal whisperer of sorts, so I thought it was only natural that I be a part of the animal kingdom. I used to have a Chihuahua named "Bubba" and we were kind of like soulmates (Don't worry Carissa, you're still soultwin numero uno). Ok so all of the following info is TRUE because it's from Wikipedia (baha my professors would choke and die if they read that!)

WHY JULIE IS PART CHIHUAHUA (brought to you by the folks at wiki):

The Chihuahua’s history is a puzzling one as there are many theories surrounding their true origin. (I'm very mysterious, so I've been told. PLUS I have a diverse background.)
The Chihuahua was used in sacred rituals as they were considered holy to Pre-Colombian Indian nations. They were also popular pets to the upper class. (I mean this is just obvious. I'm kind of a big deal.)
Long-haired Chihuahuas are actually smoother to the touch, having soft, fine guard hairs and a downy undercoat, which gives them their fluffy appearance. (I have long hair and many people have told me it's super soft, and the fluffiness is because of the static in the air)
The AKC describes the breed as, "A graceful, alert, swift-moving little dog with saucy expression, compact, and with terrier-like qualities of temperament." (DUH. If I had a nickel for every time someone called me "saucy" and "swift moving"...) The breed tends to be fiercely loyal to one particular owner, but may be attached to more. (Basically, I got yo' back! And I'm not a lyin' cheetah!) They do not always get along with other breeds.(Oopsies.)
^{tendency to bite when frightened. (I'm a huge scaredy cat and I will bite, kick, scream if I have to! IN other words...FIERCE)}
^{Chihuahuas can also be at risk for hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar. (Sucks, but true!)}
^{Chihuahuas are sometimes picky eaters, and care must be taken to provide them with adequate nutrition. (Ask anyone who knows me....)}
^{Unfortunately, this breed doesn’t naturally handle cold weather well. There are a couple of different reasons for this, but the main reason comes from their history. The Chihuahua breed originated from the hot climate of Chihuahua, Mexico. In this hot climate, Chihuahuas didn’t need to deal with the cold. (NOW you understand all those posts I've been writing about HATING the miz cold! Plus I'm part Mexican, so it just furthers my point.}

Aaaand, we might bear a strong resemblance to each other. I'm just sayin'.....

Has anyone ever told you that you look like an animal?!

Pee. Ess: Random Sidenote: I'm so embarrassed about the fact that Enrique Iglesias randomly came on my ipod this morning on the way to work...and I didn't skip it. I DANCED. And I flippin' love Taylor Swift. And Miley. Bite Me. Or I'll bite you since I'm a Chihuahua....

PEE PEE ESS. I'm not yappy. I swearz. The only time I'd consider myself yappy is when I was in college during sorority rush. But that wasn't real life. Obvi.

Nawlins Done Right

2010-02-17T09:25:00.000-08:00

Friends and Lovahs,

I'm BACK! Well, technically I've been back since Sunday night, but I sustained a battlescar in NOLA and have been lying low till today. Battlescars are usually cool, like the gash I have on my ankle from falling into a sewer in college, but noooo, I had to get a totally uncool one, PLUS I was dead sober when it happened. Basically I pulled my groin muscle reallllllll bad Sunday and couldn't really walk Monday....like I'm serious. I have a really high pain threshold and this was PAINFUL. I digress.

Mardi Gras was a success! I didn't get lost, I didn't get abducted, and I didn't get wastey-faced and make an ass of myself. HOWEVER. I did partake in some SCRUMPTIOUS eats, which I will share with you. For those of you who care, I didn't even see any boobies!! (I'm totes ok with that too btw). Now that Pardi Gras is over, I have to return to normal life...blah. BUT I graduate from my Master's three months from this past Sunday! Ah!

Oh, my homeslice over at BANANAS will DIE when I tell her that we were driving down Canal St. on Friday night with the windows down being total goons. This tricked out Escalade pulls up with this guy in shades, and a BIG mink coat with a HOOD. My friend who was driving looked over and goes "If it costs less that 20, it don't look right on me..." And low and behold, the guy flashes us a HUGE diamond and gold grill...it was JUVENILE. As in the rapper from NOLA who sings "Back that Azz Up"....yeah. Pretty flippin' amazing. Giggidy.

And now, I will share some photos from the weekend. Bon Apetit.

I introduce you to "Eggs 9th"....two jumbo lump crab cakes, topped with two perfectly poached eggs, Hollandaise and shrimp. I also had a sweet potato pancake and the BEST Bloody Mary of my ENTIRE LIFE.

this guy was PASSED OUT COLD at "Cafe Du Monde" and his "friends" poured powdered sugar on him. So sweet. (Pun Intended)

A "cyclone" courtesy of the famous "Pat O'Brien's" I didn't drink this bc I can't drink Rum.

The "Mixed Nuts"...awesome parade.

Me with my beads. So happy.

This looks like a macaroon, but it's really CRACK. These are the most DELICIOUS things you've ever put in yo mouth. Srsly.

We went to see a group called "Galactic" MOST AMAZING jam band. EVAHHHH.

So, in short. We had a hell of a time! I'll be back with some Double You Tea Eff Wednesdays! Peace and Love and Macaroons!!!

lovelovelove,

Jules.

I'm Kind of a Genius....

2010-02-11T09:37:00.000-08:00

Hola Amigos y Amigas,

I'm like the poster child for ADD/ADHD today, since all I care about is going home and packing for Mardi Gras. Thanks to many of you, especially my girl over at Cake Called, I Answered, I now am FULLY prepared to face Mardi Gras and survive without losing anything but a little dignity perhaps. (Don't worry, there will be NO chesticle exposure from this girl, I like to keep it classy...) SO, I have devised a GENIUS plan. Firstly, I have threatened all parties in our group with death by dumping them in the swamp with gators if they let me get abducted by clown clans (say that 5 times fast...clown clan...) AND THEN, my genius, fail proof plan was hatched. SO, to ensure that I don't get lost/abducted/kidnapped/sucked up into a UFO by aliens, I will be suggesting that we use some of THESE babies.

Is this not a brilliant idea???? C'mon. It's BRILLIANT.

1. Our protectors will be able to drag me wherever they want, and can steer me in any direction they deem safe/more fun.

2. I can hold my wallet, phone, camera and lip gloss on my BACK and have BOTH hands free for my DRANK. PLUS the person steering/pulling me will have a bird's eye view of my treasure trove so no one will try to pick-pocket me. Or is it pick monkey?

3. It's pretty freakin' adorable. Maybe I can give my monkey some beads too...again. genius.

OK so, I'm thinking this will ensure maximum fun and safety, no? Gosh I surprise myself sometimes....

HOWEVER, I will once again threaten my care-takers with instant alligator swamp death if they pull THIS MOVE. Watch this video, you will die laughing slash want this mother slapped. This will NOT be happening. I will be merrily prancing down the streets of NOLA carefree and safe, with a safety monkey on my back!

cray cray.

PEE ESS. Member when I was creeped out that the guy from Verizon emailed me all creepily? WELL HE DID IT AGAIN YESTERDAY. This is a joke. CAN I GET A WITNESS!?

My Bad...

2010-02-10T12:45:00.000-08:00

Friends and Lovahs, Lovahs and Friends,

I'm going to apologize in advance for bad blogger behavior (BBB). I've had a cray-cray week, and I'm trying to get my life together before this weekend. I know you're thinking, "But Jules Bears, what's going on this weekend that's so important you have to be a sucky blogger?" Well friends.......I'M GOING TO EFFING MARDI GRAS. I know...contain yo-selves. I can hardly believe it either. In fact, I don't really believe it, but it's happening apparently. I've NEVER been to Mardi Gras, and of course I am lucky enough to go the year the Saints (Who Dat!?) win the big game....I feel like a lucky little kitten. (yeah I don't know what a lucky little kitten has to do with this...bear with me). So, before I'm absent from the blogosphere, let me tell you some thangs:

Not no, but HELL NO.

thank you all so much for commenting on my shistey date post. It was miserable, but looking back and laughing is always the best part. PLUS I firmly believe in "If you wanna see the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain".
I will NOT be flashing anyone for beads. I srsly don't care enough to expose myself to randoms, especially because I'm going to be a celebrity and I don't need people digging that shit up from my past.
I'm allergic to rum, so therefore I'm allergic to "hurricanes" and "hand grenades" and I'd like to REMEMBER my weekend thank you very much.
I'm secretly nervous I'm going to get lost and abducted and initiated into some weird circus cult. For realz.
Any Mardi-Gras advice would be more than welcome!!! Y'all are the best EVAH!
Double You Tea Eff Wednesdays will be back in FULL SWING next week.